A Broken Record

by Krishnendu Saha



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Have I failed love or has love failed me?
The only thing I’m sure of is, somewhere,
at some point something has failed.
And at that very point those three profound words
that I used to utter so softly became trapped inside
and could no longer be spoken.
Did I give up too soon or persevered too long?
Not sure if I welcomed love or pushed it away.
Did I make you leave? How I wish you’d stayed.
My memories are still haunted by you
even though I’ve not gazed deep into your eyes in two years.
A quick glance at you, and I’m back in those old times
for a fleeting moment, longing for something sweeter
such as your lips or something more comforting,
like your touch.
It seems so long ago but how could it not
when even a day without you seems like a year.
Here I am, sitting in my room with lights out;
listening to Pink Floyd,
Hoping there’s a way to make my heart understand
your absence so I no longer have to endure the pain.
I try to move on but my heart is stuck,
Like a broken record playing those memories on loop.
I’ve lost count of the tears shed and sleepless nights spent
They come so frequently, heartbreak seems quite routine..
It was you whom I chose so long ago to give my heart to.
Was it me who also chose to give you away?

Editor’s Note – Anil Cherukupalli

It is never easy dissecting love, perhaps the most difficult to grasp of all human emotions. It is even more difficult doing that for a love that has slipped through. Krishnendu attempts just that visually through this essay and succeeds to an extent in portraying the despair, the darkness and the anguish at the heart of a lover’s lament for a loved one. The chronology of a love gone by is told through images of flight, diverging lines, framed memories, separation and juxtaposition. But there is ambiguity too, especially in the closing image. What does it mean? Will the waves wipe away everything and leave a clean slate? Or has the tide receded and failed to erase the imprints of togetherness? As always, only time has all the possible answers.

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About Krishnendu Saha
Krishnendu Saha is a self taught photographer based in Kolkata. By profession, he is a student and teacher of Mathematics but for the last few years he is nurturing his old interest in photography. To him, photography has always been a fascinating medium to write some untold and unheard stories. He photographs whatever and whoever he encounters in his day to day life so that time and space could merge with his conscious and subconscious in a diluted but strong narrative. Presently he is an independent photographer based in Kolkata, working on long term projects.

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